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Parents of ADHD Teens and Young Adults

Two1 yr. old grandson has first girlfriend

I am not sure how to talk with my grandson about his first girlfriend, and if things get “romantic”. He has ADHD, and leaning differences. He is very immature, and the last thing he needs in his life right now is to be a father. His dad has probably discussed this with him at some point, but he doesn’t always give the best advice. He even told my grandson he and his girlfriend could live with him, and he has a tough time taking care of his daughter, his girlfriend, and her daughter and her baby. I think you get the picture. Any suggestions would be appreciated. John does see a psychologist every other week so maybe he can give John some advice on this. Thank you, Sharon


I think it’s a great idea to involve his psychologist! Also, when you are alone with your grandson, like riding in the car or doing an activity side by side (so it’s a casual, non-lecture situation) talk to him about whatever. Ask him his opinion about things, laugh together, etc. The more he knows he can talk to you about anything without a lecture, the more willing he will be to come to you about the “big” stuff.

As his grandparent, you are a powerful mentor. You can talk about how things were when you were his age (and give him valuable insight about how women think and feel)  and ask him how things are for him now…not to lecture or show judgment or worry, but just keeping the lines of communication open.

And, if possible, discuss your worries and concerns with his psychologist so he can handle the nitty gritty in their sessions.

Joyce Mabe
Parent coach, school counselor, mom of adult son with ADHD, author

Posted by parentcoachjoyce on Jun 12, 2017 at 12:31am

***I highly encourage you to post this question to ADDitude’s new discussion forums, as well. I think your question would get a lot of attention in the For Parents forum: ADDconnect is transitioning over to this new forum now.***

My son is 14, just completed 8th grade, and has his first “girlfriend.” I had no idea how to guide him. I just try to ask how things are going, what they talk about, and stuff like that. We also talked about how you will have lots of relationships and lots of breakups before you find the right person. I feel like that’s a really important part of the conversation, because he is hypersensitive and very emotional.

ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

Posted by adhdmomma on Jun 13, 2017 at 1:15pm

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